YOU "BETA" BELIEVE IT!

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You use LinkedIn for jobs, I use Bumble. We're not the same bro. Them: Hahahaha I'm in HR. Talent Acquisition at a startup. What about you? Me: Oooof. I'm doing my masters in Electrical and Computer Engineering. Maybe you can talent acquisit me in your startup. Them: I was gonna ask what kind of jobs you're looking for LOL. Are you graduating this year?

It took me 19 years to figure out NEWS stands for

My mom: *threatens to take away my Playstation* Me: *corrects her that I have an Xbox* If you're gonna threaten me, do it properly.

Stay close to your roots. Well, those are brances.

When you're approaching someone in a long hallway, and you're not sure when to begin eye contact.

I still say my phone number twice whenever I leave voicemails as if people can't see the number because I belong to the early 90s.

Me trying to make small talk: I notice that you're wearing a shirt.

You guys were making fun of plankton for dating a computer screen now look at y'all.

Can't believe alcohol is the legal one. When I get too drunk, I want to make the worst mistakes of my life. When I get too high, I want to mix all the dipping sauces and be a better friend.

Me showing up to an event after replying

Why would I finish a thought when I could start a new more exciting one?

I love irregular texters cause there's a mutual understanding between us that it's okay to text back 5 day slater with no bad vibes.

When I'm accused of doing something that I 100% did and would do again: This is a vile accusation.

Game developers working 16-hour days for 3 years just to get death threats from 12-year-olds and a 30% rating on Steam:

Millennial anxiety test:

Dark sense of humor 'can be dementia warning sign' Every single person on my friends list:

Y'all will have imposter syndrome over s*** you're actually good at but confidently put

I love it when my pets sigh like what ails you my little unemployed freeloader?

There are 3 types of friends: I hope you're okay Stop falling down the stairs How'd the ground taste

When guys on dating apps ask me who my favourite philosopher is I make up a random German sounding name. Half of the time they

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