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Kids Memes

When you finally can sleep in on your day off but your kids wake you up early AF...

My seat mate on my flight is a 6 year old little girl who started our trip with

I told my daughter she couldn't go see the Barbie movie because it's PG-13 and she's 9. She was like

Someone said this faucet looks like the squirrel from Ice Age and now I can't unsee it.

A woman puts on this dress when she cleans her house, and the reason is that she told her two children who are terrified of her that this

My kid got invited to a birthday party, and I don't like that kid's mom so I bought a musical instrument set that includes a drum, a recorder, and a harmonica. I'll see you in hell, Bethany.

My 14 year old is babysitting for the first time, and I just received this text form him. 14yo: So once they're all asleep do I just go or wait Me: Yes, honey, you have to stay the whole time. They aren't old enough to be left alone. 14yo: Ah okay thanks

The daughter I thought I'd have: The daughter I actually had:

Alexa: Remind me to feed the baby 2:00: Defeat the baby

*overheard from the other room* 8yo: Can I have an ice cream sandwich? Grandma: Did you finish your dinner? 8yo: No Grandma: Just one then.

I'm always surprised when heavily tattooed couples have a baby, and it comes out blank.

Me: fed up with my daughter's attitude My daughter: same attitude as me

What's the best way to tell someone that their baby is ugly? Aw they look just like you.

In 1920, we took children out of the coal mines. In 2020, the most popular video game on the market is Minecraft. The children yearn for the mines.

God, designing a toddler: ya know what would be hilarious would be if it has no ability to reason but talks nonstop. Also make it trip a lot.

[Diner] Waitress: Cops, and kids 5 and under eat for free. *me, discreetly nudging my 6 year-old* My 6 year-old: I'm a police.

What do you remember most from your childhood?

Nobody: Little kids in the seat in front of you:

Seven year old me: I have infinity times more power than you My friend: I have infinity +1

Eight year old me making sure the bank teller could see me in the backseat so I could get the dum dum suckers:

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