YOU "BETA" BELIEVE IT!

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Parenting Memes

Security Tip: Plant prickly pear cactus outside of your daughter's bedroom window. You're welcome!

Daughter: Mom, I found your old Barbie doll, can I keep it? Mom: Sure sweetie, it's all yours! Son: Dad, I found this in your room. Dad: Give it back now.

Toddlers: [can't tie shoes, have to wear Velcro instead] Toddlers when they see a tablet:

My son asked me

He didn't wanna eat dinner so I put these pjs on him while he was asleep and when he woke up I told him he starved to death and now he's sad

A child ripped up their allowance because he wasn't happy with the amount. His mom walked out of her room and saw this. What would you do if this was your child's behavior? Keep it and give him a piece of it anytime he asks for money lmao.

I saw a s**** club across the street from a minigolf place, and I'm liberal but that's too much for me. What if you're just trying to have a nice afternoon with your family then your kids look across the street and have to see a bunch of losers playing minigolf?

Watching my kid put ornaments in a big clump on one section of the tree

My kid: *helps decorate the Christmas tree* Me: All the other branches are struggling, but your branch is reporting strong numbers.

I remember the first time I asked my dad to sign something for me in high school. He shook his head and said

Kid: What's that? Me, holding an Oreo milkshake: It's spicy, you won't like it.

Me in the future forcing my son to watch the Harry Potter movies:

When you finally can sleep in on your day off but your kids wake you up early AF...

I told my daughter she couldn't go see the Barbie movie because it's PG-13 and she's 9. She was like

The perfect advertisement doesn't exis- *Durex*

A woman puts on this dress when she cleans her house, and the reason is that she told her two children who are terrified of her that this

My kid got invited to a birthday party, and I don't like that kid's mom so I bought a musical instrument set that includes a drum, a recorder, and a harmonica. I'll see you in hell, Bethany.

My son has been eating electrical cords. What do I do? Ground him until he conducts himself properly. He's out of line, but he's right.

Alexa: Remind me to feed the baby 2:00: Defeat the baby

God, designing a toddler: ya know what would be hilarious would be if it has no ability to reason but talks nonstop. Also make it trip a lot.

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