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Husband Memes

Just heard my husband in the kitchen telling our cat

When my husband makes me mad I'll send him to the store for something that doesn't exist.

My husband let the dog outside, watched out the window to make sure he was out of ear ranged then turned to me and whispered

When he asks

I sent my mom a video of myself where I look JUST like her and: Me: I look just like you lol. Especially here when I made that face in the beginning. Mom: Yes, but I had a husband at 28. Me: Goodnight.

[introductions at a party] Me: this is my first wife Her: and current wife Me: and these are her kids Her: they're also his Me: we keep it friendly Her: on account of we're still married Me: and I love these kids like they're my own Her: because they are

The day my husband asks me to pay halves on rent is the day I pack my bags. And go where? You can't even afford half the rent.

Marry someone who keeps you accountable. For example, tonight I wanted to order hot wings at 11pm and my husband was like

My husband had a sleepover with his best friends to watch Thursday Night Football

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