YOU "BETA" BELIEVE IT!

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Twitter Memes

Elon Musk rebrands Twitter to

Does this mean Elon is going to call his employees

So will tweets now become exes?

I'm calling it Twix from now on, and no one can stop me.

Me logging onto Twitter after using Threads Welcome home, Cheater

Threads > Me > Twitter

Doge:

The idea of using tumblr as a twitter alternative is incomprehensible. it's like if your local walmart closed down and you started doing all your grocery shopping at the cursed antique store from needful things.

I secretly hope that twitter keeps extending the character limit as a social experiment, slowly conditioning our attention spans until we're able to read actual books again.

I wear a ski mask to bed so if there's a home invasion the intruder will think i'm part of the team.

I recently took a pole and found that 100% of the people in the tent were angry when it collapsed.

The best thing about dogs is you can act like something really good just happened and they'll instantly start celebrating too they have no idea what the context is, they're just always ready to party no matter what.

The roomba vacuum cleaner just beat me to a piece of popcorn I dropped on the floor and this is how the war against the machines begins.

Just spotted a cat on someone's porch, meowing to be let in. without thinking, I walked up to the door, rang the bell, nodded to the cat and left. it was only I rounded the corner I realized what i'd done as I heard the owner shouting,

Interviewer says here you have cat-like reflexes me slowly pushes resume off desk without breaking eye contact yeah that's right.

I have a joke about getting sued, but the humor has lost its appeal.

My daughter loves being buried up to her neck in sand at the beach. Her little face lights up when I come back to get her the next day.

I left three notes scattered around the house earlier for my girlfriend. they said will you and me. that'll keep her busy whilst I watch sports. are you satan.

Still canny belive the queen won that marathon, wee lightning mcqueen.

Wikipedia watching people pay 8$ for a blue tick.

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