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Food Memes

Me: How long should I roast asparagus in the oven? Food Blogger: Wondering how long to roast asparagus? C'mere! I've got your answer! Me: Cool! Thank- Food Blogger: I was born on a farm in Tennessee. My father was an angry man with 3 fingers on each hand. A war injury...

I'd give my left left for this right now.

Nice try, Dan Brown. 12 rings, 12 apostles, Knights Templar founded in the 12th century AD. Cross of Lorraine, used by early Knights Templar. Templar Cross. Oreo.

When my stomach says I'm full on Thanksgiving. We're done when I say we're done.

Learning that Paprika is just dried and crushed red bell peppers was really shocking. Like I dunno why I thought there was a Paprika tree somewhere.

Ate half my sandwich prolly save the other half for later. Subway: No, seriously what is this?

Never forget that you are the salsa on the taco of life. I mean, it's technically still a taco without you. But it's flavorless and dry. Life without you is a sad taco.

Ladies, a guy you've been dating asks you to come over for a candlelight dinner.. You show up and see this what do you do?

Toy-yoda Taco-ma

United Steaks of America

Looks like one of the guys quit IV Guys

Burger King carefully adding one single onion ring to your order of fries

What's wrong babe? You've barely touched your Jabbacado toast.

If I was Snow White, you'd never be able to k*** me with an apple. You'd have to p***** an eclair or something.

Me thinking about whether to be skinny or be happy

It was the best of shires. It was the Worcestershires.

If you have worked in food service AND retail which is worse. Food service is jumpscare horror and retail is psychology horror.

Obsessed with the runes carved on the surface of an Oreo. What are they up to over there?

When you're microwaving at 3 am and forget to stop it at 1 second: Now all of China knows you're here.

At some point, Subway convinced us all it's healthy to eat a whole loaf of bread in one sitting.

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